Friday, March 03, 2006

Gulliver's Travails

I was talking with 'Gulliver', the prison dwarf the other day. He was very worried because some of the younger fellows from up the hallway are insisting he let them use him in a 'dwarf throwing' competition they're organizing.
Although worldwide there are over six million dwarves, in our inmate population of six hundred, Gulliver's the only one.
Anyway, his persecutors gave him to understand that if he refuses, they'll entertain themselves with him in some other, less pleasant manner.
So it seems that one way or another, Gulliver is facing the complete loss of his dignity.
He asked me to have a word with the men but I'm not keen to get involved in the affair. If I go out to bat for Gulliver, it'd be me, next.


Anonymous Rastaman said...

Ordinarily I never ask things like this, but I'm really curious. What does a dwarf get jailed for, peeping up dresses whilst standing in the middle like a third leg? Urinating on someones foot? Head-butting people in the crotch? Intimidating toddlers?

In the meantime my best advice to him is to start accumulating soft, thick towels and rolls of duct tape.

2:38 AM  

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